First of all, I would like to give the whole world a big hug.
I am writing this while locked up in my room. 28th day. There are still about two weeks before our local lock-down—hopefully—will be lifted.
It’s been a while since I last posted on this blog. Who’d have thought I’d find the time to write again in such a bleak place—in the face of a crisis that banished me and many others from the outside world.
We truly are in unprecedented times. I kind of went through the stages of grief. I was in denial, thinking this isn’t so bad. It will be over soon. When it did get worse, honestly I was mad. Why and how did this even happen in the first place? I was looking for someone, something to hurl the blame to. Someone to punch in the face.
And then, I started avoiding Facebook and news sites because the news was depressing me. I don’t express my feelings about this crisis much to my friends, but I am scared. I am hovering between depression and acceptance now. It is sad. It’s hard not to be sad with all the things going on. The coronavirus pandemic has forced us to adopt a lot of changes and adjustments into our regular lives. Worse, some have to deal with loss—loss of livelihood, loss of a loved one…
I have deep respect for the many people who readily pushed forward to battle the pandemic in the frontlines. Hats off to the doctors, nurses, and everybody in the medical and public service field. What you are doing is tantamount to a soldier being deployed to a furious battlefield. When you studied and took up your specialization, you probably had not expected that you would wear the hat of a soldier. And yet, you did. Hail, frontliners!
I don’t know what comfort I can offer to those who have suffered huge losses or are battling the disease themselves. Those who are most at risk would probably not even have the facility to read this online. My heart is with them. I am praying that this will all be over soon not only for myself but also for the people who have very limited capacity to bear this crisis.
If you are reading this, you are probably among the luckier ones. We are safely nestled inside our home, with a roof above our heads, and a plate to eat satisfying sustenance. Despite the fact, I do feel a bit frustrated. Not because I can’t go outside and do fun things with friends. But because all I can do is stay at home and basically sit this all out. Unlike the frontliners, there’s nothing heroic and more direct that I can do. I did make a donation online, but I wish I could do more.
Perhaps we may take comfort in seeing the world joining hands to face this hardship together, learning to set aside differences and discrimination (I hope). I really do hope we all come out of this with greater awareness and compassion for one another. After all, we are not Asians, Americans, Europeans, or Australians.
We are human beings. We are one species.
See you soon.